Technology and Dating for the Modern Gentleman

The advent of the automobile and production line to assembly automobiles was a breakthrough in technology and manufacturing. The automobile enabled people to travel easier and the assembly line allowed mass production so that everyone could eventually purchase an automobile. The addition of locking doors to the automobile changed dating for the gentleman as men now had a way to test if a woman was selfish or not. Anyone familiar with the movie “A Bronx Tale” has seen the scene where Sonny (Chazz Palminteri) tells Calogero (Lillo Brancato) a valuable dating lesson:

Sonny: “Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.”

Calogero ‘C’ Anello: “Just like that?”

Sonny: “Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.”

Over time men lost the ability to test a woman’s level of selfishness with this simple test through advances in technology. Technology progressed to a point where we point remote controls at our vehicles to unlock the doors, and now to a point where one walks up to the vehicle and the vehicle uses proximity keys to know that the key is near and unlocks the door. I was lucky enough to live in a time where my automobile during my early dating days was a 1987 Oldsmobile Custom Supreme Brougham, but now I am driving a new automobile that has some pretty awesome features, but took away the simple dating test. Now when taking a woman on a date a man no longer has the ability to test the woman’s level of selfishness with this simple test.

I have thought of a way through a further advancement of technology that a man can test a woman using an automobile. It changes the timing of the test, but now a man can still pick a woman up with his automobile and be a gentleman in opening the door for her, hopefully have a great time on the date, and then test the woman at the end of the night. The date must involve alcohol as once the couple has had enough drinks to not drive responsibly it is Uber to the rescue and the test begins. At the end of the date the gentleman leaves his vehicle behind responsibly and orders a driver through Uber. Once the couple are to the woman’s place of residence a few things can happen. The night can end and the man has Uber take him to his residence, or he gets invited in for a nightcap. Either way, the gentleman still has the ability to complete the test! The gentleman must go home that evening in some fashion (duh use Uber) so that he wakes up alone and without an automobile. Now the test begins as he has been a pure gentleman and ensured that the couple made it home both safely and without legal repercussions. It is now up to the woman to pass the gentleman’s test! What is the test you ask? Well the gentleman must now find a way to get his car back after the date, so it is up to the woman to contact the gentleman and at minimum offer to pick him up and take him back to his automobile. The gentleman should just use Uber you say? He should find a friend to take him back to his car? Sure those are viable options, but the man now knows what type of woman he has been on a date with and she can show her true colors! Is she selfless and helps the gentleman out in getting his automobile the next day or is she selfish and doesn’t even think to offer? Disagree? Comment below!


  1. melissa says:

    you still need to open a girl’s door for her. locked or otherwise.

    don’t you really want to date women who are choosy enough to only date gentlemen anyway? see what just happened there?

  2. Joe says:

    @melissa you already know that is how I roll anyway, but was thinking about my favorite movies the other night and A Bronx Tale is one of them. Then on Friday I was using Uber to go to Blend Bar and Cigar (alone as I am a proud member of the lonely hearts club) and came up with this idea. #blamecanada

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