Dating: Jokes as Pickup Tools

Being back on the dating scene after marriage is probably one of the most exciting times in my life. Post marriage dating seems to be even more fun than pre-marriage dating has ever been as it has a totally different meaning. Previously when dating it was about meeting that special one person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, while now it is about enjoying time spent with someone at a new restaurant or at an event. I still have the same aspirations to find that special someone, but realize even more that each new person could be that special someone or she could just be another person to meet.

Approaching women is totally different, in my honest opinion, after marriage too as previously I was much more nervous to talk to women in fears of rejection. Post marriage it seems a little easier (or maybe I am just older) as I don’t see each conversation as something that has to go somewhere, and possibly be a long term relationship. At this point in my life I am having a lot of fun learning about new people and learning more about myself. It has become much easier and is pretty simple to just walk up to a woman that I want to have a conversation with and begin conversation with any random topic. I don’t want to use any of the cheesy pick up lines about stars and eyes, but did learn a fun new joke from my buddy Randy at Blend Bar and Cigar. Randy tells a joke that goes “do you know the difference between sex and a sandwich” with the hopes that a woman says “no” to which the reply is “do you want to have lunch” or do you want to have dinner” depending on the time of day the joke is told. The joke, in my honest opinion, is harmless and often funny. It has been really fun to tell the joke to the women I come across throughout the day in hopes that they will simply laugh and think that I am a funny guy. Most women that I view on the dating websites (see Technology and Dating for the Modern Gentleman Part II) post on their profile they want a man that can make them laugh and more than anything I want to make a woman laugh and smile. I have come across several women that have answers like “I am satisfied after a sandwich” or “I will always make you a sandwich,” or even “I can get my own sandwich.” These women have made me think a bit more about the joke and their personalities.

The joke works best with a woman that understands immediately that the man standing before her is telling a joke in the hopes that she might think he is funny. These are the women that I want to tell another joke and hopefully then have a meal with at a fun restaurant. The women that come up with some answer just to answer the question make me think more about their personalities in general as I could be having a conversation with a “know it all” or a woman that “has all of the answers.” These are the women that I do not want to share a meal with.

I believe it fundamental to find out more about people’s personalities while meeting them and then being able to figure out if we should be out on a date. The dating scene has changed quite a bit since pre-marriage and is much more fun post marriage. I look forward to meeting many new women and making them laugh with simple jokes.

sandwich

Technology and Dating for the Modern Gentleman Part II

Getting back to dating post marriage has been very fun as the thought process post marriage is very different. I don’t mean different as in a bitter attitude that is out to hurt women because of divorce, but rather a “I have been married already” and each woman that I meet does not have to be my next ex-wife (kidding). I have met quite a few women ranging from “I will never speak to that crazy human again” all the way to “I wish I did not meet her right now because I would marry her.”

There were many websites for dating previous to my marriage, but I did not use them as I was out with my friends often enough to meet a plethora of women in many different social settings. Now that my friends and I are a bit older, the vast majority of them are married and/or have children now, so finding proper wingmen to go out with has become rather difficult. I have resorted to experimenting with the many different websites and their mobile applications. Now this posting is most certainly not one to rate and review each of these sites as many of us have different interests with these sites (www.christianmingle.com, www.farmersonly.com, etc), but rather a posting about how they have changed dating for me.

Using mobile applications from Match and Plenty of Fish has made these sites much easier to use at any time of day as I do not have to be sitting in front of a computer. Applications like Tinder remind me of the old Hot or Not where you see an immediate image of a person and swipe left for NO and right for YES. Tinder makes it easy to see if you would be immediately attracted to someone while also allowing the user to fill out a short profile. While Tinder is simple to use, I much prefer Match and Plenty of Fish (PoF) as the users fill out more details about themselves. Match and PoF allow the dating world to see a menu of people to look through prior to beginning a conversation.

Dating for the Modern Gentleman has changed quite a bit since before my failed marriage. While we had websites, we did not have the mobile application set we have today. These applications have made it much easier to browse and message people we might be attracted to and once we figure out a time to meet up we can use the Modern Gentleman’s Door Test using more modern technology like Uber. Happy Dating!

Technology and Dating for the Modern Gentleman

The advent of the automobile and production line to assembly automobiles was a breakthrough in technology and manufacturing. The automobile enabled people to travel easier and the assembly line allowed mass production so that everyone could eventually purchase an automobile. The addition of locking doors to the automobile changed dating for the gentleman as men now had a way to test if a woman was selfish or not. Anyone familiar with the movie “A Bronx Tale” has seen the scene where Sonny (Chazz Palminteri) tells Calogero (Lillo Brancato) a valuable dating lesson:

Sonny: “Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.”

Calogero ‘C’ Anello: “Just like that?”

Sonny: “Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.”

Over time men lost the ability to test a woman’s level of selfishness with this simple test through advances in technology. Technology progressed to a point where we point remote controls at our vehicles to unlock the doors, and now to a point where one walks up to the vehicle and the vehicle uses proximity keys to know that the key is near and unlocks the door. I was lucky enough to live in a time where my automobile during my early dating days was a 1987 Oldsmobile Custom Supreme Brougham, but now I am driving a new automobile that has some pretty awesome features, but took away the simple dating test. Now when taking a woman on a date a man no longer has the ability to test the woman’s level of selfishness with this simple test.

I have thought of a way through a further advancement of technology that a man can test a woman using an automobile. It changes the timing of the test, but now a man can still pick a woman up with his automobile and be a gentleman in opening the door for her, hopefully have a great time on the date, and then test the woman at the end of the night. The date must involve alcohol as once the couple has had enough drinks to not drive responsibly it is Uber to the rescue and the test begins. At the end of the date the gentleman leaves his vehicle behind responsibly and orders a driver through Uber. Once the couple are to the woman’s place of residence a few things can happen. The night can end and the man has Uber take him to his residence, or he gets invited in for a nightcap. Either way, the gentleman still has the ability to complete the test! The gentleman must go home that evening in some fashion (duh use Uber) so that he wakes up alone and without an automobile. Now the test begins as he has been a pure gentleman and ensured that the couple made it home both safely and without legal repercussions. It is now up to the woman to pass the gentleman’s test! What is the test you ask? Well the gentleman must now find a way to get his car back after the date, so it is up to the woman to contact the gentleman and at minimum offer to pick him up and take him back to his automobile. The gentleman should just use Uber you say? He should find a friend to take him back to his car? Sure those are viable options, but the man now knows what type of woman he has been on a date with and she can show her true colors! Is she selfless and helps the gentleman out in getting his automobile the next day or is she selfish and doesn’t even think to offer? Disagree? Comment below!

Upgrading VMware vSphere Data Protection (Advanced) from 5.5 to 5.5.6

Today I wanted to upgrade my lab to the latest release of VMware vSphere and after checking the support matrix decided to start with VMware vSphere Data Protection Advanced to then make sure I have a good backup of VMware vCenter using the latest product release. Normally I would just cowboy the upgrade and worry about repercussions later (as sometimes working through hiccups can be fun in the lab), but this time I wanted to work through the upgrade somewhat following documentation. That being said I browsed the VDP Administration Guide and was a lazy admin and did not read it in depth (it shouldn’t be too hard as it is a virtual appliance, right?). I  received the following error (don’t forget to snapshot your appliance):

Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 3.24.20 PM

I searched around the Interwebs to see if others were having this issue and reporting about how to resolve it and could not find any help, so I went back to the VDP Administration Guide and followed the directions. This did not solve the issue (I had missed the part about setting disks 2-# to Dependent mode).

I did find this posting and will now walk away from the keyboard and see if just being a little patient will help the upgrade process. Time to find something to do for some time.

Well an hour has passed….I came back to try the upgrade and amazingly it started. I think this should be in the documentation, “please walk away from the keyboard and find something to do for an hour or so as this is messed up and clears itself up on it’s own.” I hope this helps others through a frustrating upgrade of VDPA. I will come back and post if there are further issues, but for now happy updating.

Update:

Well the upgrade supposedly went without issue. I say this because of the following screenshot:

Screen Shot 2014-03-16 at 5.47.14 PM

I know that it only says 90%, but after it said 100% it still stated to “Remove the snapshot created prior to upgrade” which I understand what to do, but would think to wait until after power up and verification that all actually went well. What happens if I remove the snapshot, power up, and then there were problems. Seems to me the only reason the snapshot is of any importance is when there is an issue during the actual upgrade. Removing it before powering on and verifying that all is well kind of has me nervous. I will follow the directions and see what happens now.

What happens now is that I should not be waiting for the pot of water to boil as this snapshot removal is taking a really long time (obviously if you know me I have this running on a Synology DS1813+ on 7.2k disk so I should expect it to take some time). Time to actually boil water and make some dinner.

Twenty five minutes later the snapshot has been removed and I have been fed. Disks 2-# have  been set to “Independent – Persistent” following the directions. I have powered the appliance on and so far so good. Time to take another backup of vCenter and then begin the upgrade of vCenter and my two ESXi hosts.

Update 3/17/2014

VMware vSphere has been successfully upgraded to version 5.5 U1 following the VDPA upgrade. The lab is happy.

VMware Partner Exchange Day 1

This will be a very short post due to signing an NDA with EMC this morning. The best part of the morning was seeing the roadmap of products from EMC. There are some really cool innovations coming to EMC portfolio. One of the most exciting announcements will come in Q2 of this year to the lower end of the EMC portfolio. I truly believe that when the announcement comes many in the SMB market will be very excited. I really wish that I could share details, but can say that you all should pay close attention over the upcoming quarters to releases from EMC.

VMware Snapshot Issues

Today I noticed that a VM in my VMware vSphere 5.5 (Windows Software Update Services) in my lab was completely out of space. I had not paid much attention and the disk was completely out of space and apparently caused issues with VMware Data Protection Advanced completing a backup a few days ago. The failed state left the VM with a snapshot that was not removed so I could not add additional disk space to the VM. I immediately went to snapshot manager to remove the snapshot and could not find the snapshot. I then decided to try to get a backup of the VM while powered off, but received errors when trying to perform the backup around the format on the VM not being able to be found. I then searched ways to remove a snapshot through the command line and found the following KB. Following the KB allowed me to create a new snapshot and then delete all snapshots for the VM. This removed the snapshot that could not be found and further allowed me to add additional space to the virtual machine. My issue is now resolved and I can work within my lab again :)

vCenter Log Insight 1.5 Favorite New Features

In my previous post I noted my excitement about the upgrades in the future that will not require SSH access and running .rpm files as VMware is now doing updates much like vC Ops. While I think this is magnificent, it isn’t my favorite new feature within the new release. I would have to say that the direct integration to have ESXi logs sent directly to vCenter Log Insight 1.5 with configuration done through the appliance is my most welcome new feature. I am sure others will argue that some of the new features in the Dashboard for storage are their favorite new features, but the ability to configure ESXi hosts directly through the appliance is certainly my favorite new feature (if it existed before I am still excited as it is super simple now. Simply access the Administration of the appliance and then select vSphere below Integration. One then checks the box for ESXi hosts and most of the magic is done for you (you must click Save for the magic to happen and sorry for not stating that directly, but if you are reading this you probably figured something like that out already). If you want to see what hosts are configured you can select “View ESXi syslog configuration details…” to see what hosts are configured resolve any issues with configuration. Sorry for the lack of screenshots, but I thought of this posting after already going through the motions. If anyone has questions please feel free to reach out to me.

Upgrading VMware vCenter Log Insight to 1.5

The upgrade to VMware vCenter Log Insight 1.5 from a previous version (mine was 1.0.4-1169900) was fairly simple. First I had to grab the bits and was happy to see an rpm available for the upgrade. While the download was small (59MB) it made me think about how to install the rpm to the virtual appliance. I had never SSH’d into the machine so immediately I fired up Terminal on OSX and gave it ago. The admin username and password did not work immediately so I gave root a try with the same password and was again a failure. The cowboy in me was annoyed that I had to then look at documentation (somewhat kidding about being annoyed, but also wish these darn appliances just had an update section (think vCAC 6.0)). In the documentation I found Upgrade and within that I found the documentation for setting the root password to enable SSH. I would have to state that coming up with a root password was probably the most frustrating part of the installation as it needed to be more complex than my standard lab password (I like simple in the lab). Following the documentation for upgrading the appliance from the VMware Documentation Center was rather straightforward. Enjoy the updated appliance and hopefully we can find some new features in the future.

Update: after the upgrade I have done a little digging around and found that VMware has made it much like vC Ops in that in the future upgrades will be done by .pak files. This is a welcome addition to make the future much like vC Ops, but dang I wish there was an auto update feature like that of vCAC 6.0 Also to note, the Integration piece is broken into two parts for vSphere and vC Ops.

Synology & Amazon Glacier

Finally I have a solution to backup the important family photos and documents to the Cloud while also keeping a local copy. Anyone that knows me has heard my praise of Synology devices at home to keep all data in a central location. While this is great for access it brings up the scare of a disaster at home and the family loses all important data. I now have my data backing up to Amazon Glacier and am very impressed with how it works. I will post links below for installation as Jason Nash (@thejasonnash) has already posted on the topic. Following some easy steps posted throughout the Interwebs anyone can now have a central repository for all data at home while also pushing the data to the Cloud. I love this technology. If you have any questions please let me know, my contact information is posted throughout the site.

Jason Nash’s blog http://jasonnash.com/2013/02/24/synology-backup-using-amazon-glacier/

Synology DSM Packages http://www.synology.com/dsm/dsm_app.php?lang=us#GlacierBackup

Amazon Glacier Pricing http://aws.amazon.com/glacier/pricing/

VMworld 2013

This year VMworld will be unlike past VMworlds that I have attended. This will be an extended stay with a pre-VMworld bootcamp on VMware vCloud Automation Center. I am very excited for this deep dive on the product as I see many businesses looking to implement this product, but they do not know where to start. While it might seem simple to many out there, it is a daunting task for organizations to implement a product so powerful that it could change their operations for good. I look forward to learning this product to help organizations move towards a more automated operating environment.

I will be attending the VMunderground party this year (being a vExpert pays off sometimes to get early access to tickets for this event). Last year was the first time I attended this party and I met a lot of great people. I cannot wait to hang out with the rest of this enthusiastic community this year.

Today’s ramblings might get updated in the future. I just had a few thoughts I wanted to get out.